In the Depths of Despair Comes Compassion: Caregiver Self-Care Tool #1

By Catherine Bryson

‘Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody’ Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)

You remember the group Pink Floyd, and the album the ‘Dark Side of the Moon’? Well, there is a side to you that stays private, and just as there’s your ‘Public Caregiver Persona’ and your ‘Innermost Caregiver Self’, so I give you a Caregiver Self-Care Tool (Tool #1, in what I hope will be a long and happy series of tools); that speaks to your Innermost Private Caregiver Self. (Which could just as easily speak to your Innermost Ex-Carer Self, for indeed once a caregiver you were, so will you always be.)

Life can be “lonelying” for caregivers. (A little creative wordplay here), people don’t always understand what you’re going through. I mean, the gut-wrenching emotional pain. Indeed, there can be an unbridgeable chasm between those who care for someone they love (or have done so), and those who don’t. So, in the depths of that great barrenness, reach out to your weary careworn self and write yourself a heartwarming self-compassionate letter. Almost as if you were your own caring parent, or doting aunt, or favourite grandparent, whichever suits you most.

Here now is a brief introduction to self-compassion theory. This teaching on what is called Compassionate Mind Training is based on the work of psychologist Paul Gilbert. In the Resources you will find the reference to a truly wonderful book (by his student) that will get you started in the practice of self-compassion if you so choose. The alternative is Kristin Neff’s book ‘Self-Compassion’ if that is a better fit for you (I include a reference to her work as well in the Resources).

In compassionate letter writing, we write about our difficulties from the perspective of our compassionate self, so as to get deeper insights and understand ourselves better.

Compassion has two parts:

1. Feelings: We feel for others, we feel for ourselves
2. Action-based: We seek to heal or help ourselves or others.

Therefore, compassion involves both thought and emotion, as well as action. For example, if you saw someone struggling in the water, you would not only show concern but also throw them a life preserver (or reach out a long stick that they can grab onto). Furthermore, if the waters were dark and murky, you would not only try to help but ensure your own safety as well.

These are the steps involved in compassionate letter writing. You do not have to follow them all:

1. Find a quiet place to sit with yourself undisturbed for 15 or 20 minutes. (However, we live in a fast-paced world as caregivers, if you only have 5 or 10 minutes that’s okay too. No write or wrong here. Pardon the pun).
2. Why are you writing this letter? Set a goal or intention.
3. Identify a problem or area of difficulty. If multiple problems, choose the one that resonates the most right now.
4. Try to connect with your compassionate self (like a true best friend), so you can see it’s not your fault. Life can be complicated, and so can human beings. Like author Mr. Chris Irons says, humans have ‘tricky’ brains. So true.
5. At the same time, try to take responsibility for your actions or behaviour (or lack of action).
6. Try to see if there is a better way or a ‘lighter’ way of looking at the problem or difficulty and see if you can think of one positive step you could take to help you deal with it better.
7. Identify areas of challenge or obstacles you will need to overcome to take that step. Are there things you could do or put in place to make that first brave step more likely to happen?
8. Give yourself support and thank yourself for taking the initiative—-maybe identify one person you could ask for help, support or guidance in taking that step.
9. Read the letter back to yourself—note that you could write an abbreviated form on an app on your phone if you prefer typing to handwriting.

You can start the letter by saying ‘dear me’ or ‘dear friend’ for example, if that feels right.

Some people write letters like these and keep them in their wallet and pull them out and read them in times of difficulty. For instance, if you had to take your loved one to ER one night, it would be like someone holding your hand (again, you could use your smartphone). Write in the language that resonates most for you and don’t fret about grammar, spelling, or punctuation. Just to help you along, I’ve written a sample compassionate letter. Here it is:

‘Dear me,

You remember the time I lived in Paris in the Eighties and read that book on Palmistry that was so revealing? You found out your ‘number’ (everyone had one to describe their unique personality) was ‘5’ and that your biggest obstacle was fear.

Or should I say, a certain preponderance for sensitivity?

Every day a new mountain to climb.

For this reason, you indulged in certain behaviours as a means of mitigating what could be a somewhat difficult reality.

These days I try to engage in healthier behaviours.

They are not such Everests now as there were then.

But some days can be a real test.

It’s funny how people always say how ‘calm’ I seem. Nothing could be further from the truth!

You can try your ‘calming’ stone, that one you made out of clay. That one you are quite certain is imbued with special powers.

Or your volunteer jobs. Having something to do helps a lot.

And the dogs in your life. The cats, too, for that matter. Angels sent down from heaven, or so it would seem, that the ‘Red Thread of Destiny’ (see image above) sends you these remarkable beings (not just pets) from time to time. (The idea of the ‘Red Thread of Destiny’ comes from Chinese culture. You will read more about it in the image.)

And of course, your ‘colour therapy’ such as the ‘clownfish’ above.

Nurture the ‘kid’ in you.

Discover your inner clown. And why not? Humour is an excellent way to deal with stressful moments. Remember that time you were in a Team Meeting about your late father, and you could feel the tension in the room but then you suddenly said, “Yeah well… he’s a Taurus.” And everybody laughed and all the tension melted away!

At least for a few seconds.

Never forget that clown.

She will not let you down.

So, you see, there are tools at your disposal, to deal with those nightly dancing macabres (ghoulish), skeletons. (Or should I say: ‘skelingtons’.)

Your friend forever and ever,

Catherine’

I am writing to the writer that lives in all of you, in all of us. Indeed, if you have read this far, then you are every writer’s friend. Truly.

So, I raise a toast to you and indeed all caregivers (and ex-carers, like me) everywhere. We are heroes, all of us.  And may you join me in that toast, even if it be in the small hours of the night. (That delicious uninterrupted privacy.) With or without inebriating accompaniment (or similar).

Resources

‘The Compassionate Mind Workbook: A Step-By-Step Guide To Developing Your Compassionate Self’ (Robinson, 2017) by Chris Irons and Elaine Beaumont.

Required reading for all caregivers. Whatever the stage of their journey. Nevertheless, requires sustained commitment and focus on your part. (Just saying.)

‘Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself’ (2011) by Kristin Neff.

A little less ‘intellectual’ than the Chris Irons book, also, shorter. A better fit for some folks.

Greater Good Magazine: Science-Based Insights for a Meaningful Life

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu

A great resource. And free of charge (so far).

Images:

The Clownfish (I coloured)

The mural ‘The Red Thread of Destiny’. Fascinating.

Life’s A Peach: A Lighthearted Approach to Caregiving This Summer

By Catherine Bryson

I thought as it’s summer and I’ve enjoyed a desperately needed trip to Tofino, (thanks to a very generous brother), I’d offer you a little lighthearted reading this July. I thought because it’s summer it’s time to chill a bit, even in the midst of your busy and stressful caregiving day. Something to counteract the awful caregiver’s cortisol stress with some relaxation-inducing (nature’s ’chill pill’), dopamine.

We all are aware of the risks and devastating consequences of caregiving burnout, therefore, think of this post as a kind of healing medicine for your weary caregiving soul.

The other day, on a walk, I noticed how brightly the blue plastic slide in the children’s playground nearby was shining. So let us shine a light amidst what can be a challenging experience: caregiving for those you love when you know time is short.

Lately, I was walking through a maze of hospital corridors, on my way to visit an ill fellow resident, a favourite in our place, a really gifted storyteller. It brought back memories of when my father spent three days on a hospital gurney in the busy halls of the hospital emergency department.

Nevertheless, I joked and laughed with this guy wheeling himself around through the hospital halls and, somehow, magically the tension evaporated, like the quiet after a storm.

We laugh and carry on.

Always carry on.

In Safeway the other day I suddenly had to stop and write more for the blog.

My ideas seem to come out of nowhere, and if I don’t write them down immediately, they vanish.

Walking back from the supermarket, stopping at the intersection, this funny man on a motorbike with bunny ears on his helmet starts dancing. It was a lovely moment.

Like a court jester in medieval times.

Sign of hope amidst these shadowy times: dancing, laughter, shiny blue slides.

At 41^st and Oak, I rest among a grove of trees. It really can be ‘Soft city’ Vancouver. I notice that there is a care home next to the trees. I think of my father who was in Evergreen. I think of the screaming lady. I think of my father’s smile.

Will these trees survive the densification of our city?

They are like Harry Potter trees, you know the ones that came to life? Trees with eyes and mouths, like the image above.

I think of how sacred trees are, how sacred my father’s smile was.

So, I wait for the bus. An eternity, it seems.

And I wait. Always waiting. But what am I waiting for, the Second Coming?

I must admit that would help in this troubled age.

We all need uplifting.

But isn’t it true that sometimes, that life really is a ‘bowl of cherries’? (As in image above)

The other day I bought a peach. One of those funny donut-looking ones. What could be more delightful than the taste of a tantalizingly tart peach? The juice running down your chin, like T.S. Eliot’s famous poem, the one about the middle-aged J. Alfred Prufrock, the voice in the poem, who says: “Do I dare eat a peach?”

And that’s exactly my suggestion: eat the peach. Don’t wait (for the Second Coming), seize the day as in the Latin saying, ‘Carpe Diem’.

Do not let summer 2026 go by without eating the proverbial ‘peach’. You know I speak metaphorically (after all, my dad and I were both poets), by’ eat the peach’ I mean really live. Live like you’ve never lived before. And even better if you can enjoy that moment of summer bliss with the person you care for.

The time goes so fast.

The moment passes all too quickly.

You know, I ‘ate the peach’ once, so to speak. I escaped the workaday life for four glorious years in my twenties. Lived near Montmartre. A tumble-down old mansion in Ireland, converted into a sanctuary for artists and artisans, or those just following their dreams.

And then, and then… spent the rest of my life paying the price for it.

OK. So be it. The single taste of a ripe peach is worth a thousand soggy sandwiches any day. (10,000 soggy sandwiches!)

Because…

Sooner or later, it’s you on that gurney.

I’m just saying.

And maybe you’ll even dream up a couple of rhymes or write a song. It doesn’t have to make sense, after all, often caregiving makes no sense. The system makes no sense.

But sometimes yes, it does make sense.

When you look into your loved one’s eyes, really look.

As poet Mary Oliver said:

‘Tell me, what is your plan to do with your one wild and precious life?’

Resources

For resources, I leave you the name of two great books. For what’s more delightful than a summer reading escape? I also leave you, just in case, with a link to how you can arrange for your loved one to get a free AC, if they qualify. Safety first, this summer, for your loved one, given climate change.

‘James and the Giant Peach’ by Roald Dahl. Mr. Dahl was a genius children’s book writer. He somehow had laser vision into children’s mindsets. He was once a spy, and in the UK, there is now a Roald Dahl museum.

‘Manon Des Sources, (Manon of the Spring) by Marcel Pagnol. Also, a movie.

This beautiful teenage Shepherdess in Provence in the 1950s falls in love with the local schoolteacher. Lots of really beautiful timeless evocations of French village life.

Web page to go to to try and get your loved one a free AC. Note: Person must be a current client of regional health authority’s Home Care program or Mental Health and Substance Abuse Program:

Https://www.bchydro.com/powersmart/residential/rebates-programs/savings-based-on-income/free-air-conditioner.html

Finding Community as Caregivers in the Age of Atomized Existence

By Catherine Bryson

In Days of Old, grandma (the family matriarch, ever revered), her adult children and grandchildren and all the rest would ‘share the care.’

But now, of course, another Age, another story. Turns out grandma’s been on the waitlist for Assisted Living for two years now, and her Millennial adult children are a wit’s end, teetering on the edge of collapse, held up by toothpicks (more on the ‘toothpick’ issue in a subsequent post).

It was once called ‘communitas’ in Latin, those nieces and nephews that brought grandma her dinner on a tray. That’s the Age when ‘community’ was still strong and there was a kind of invisible safety net from cradle to grave. I, myself, enjoyed this comfort up until about 1988, then things began to fall apart. Such is life.

As a caregiver from 1999-2023 (and arguably longer, I remember caregiving even as a child of 10), I mostly went through the somewhat perilous journey alone, except for my older siblings (hallelujah for that!), as well as the support of NSCR Caregiver Support Program (again, hallelujah).

But my intent is not to spread doom and gloom. Heavens no, we get enough of that already, on our screens, silently scrolling as the darkness of evening descends. The thing is though, ‘Communitas’ survives, even today. I’ll illustrate it here with a story:

Even in the gritty city, I witnessed a ‘Good Samaritan’ event recently. I had been at the dentist for another round of uncomfortable gum cleaning, and I was waiting outside for my Handidart (did you know that with a Handicard, as opposed to Handidart, your loved one is eligible for monthly Taxisavers?), and still no bus. Half an hour later, exhausted, I could no longer stand, and I kneeled on the grass. Five minutes later, a well-dressed young person came over, crouched down in front of me, and with a kindly voice, said: “Are you OK? Can I help you?”

“I’m okay,” I said, “I’m just tired.”

(And isn’t that the usual caregiver response?)

“Oh, well… you have a good day. I just thought I’d ask.”

Blimey, even in this day & age, a caring stranger. It felt as if I had regained lost faith in humanity. It was like a hard-shell cracking open, like cracking open a walnut shell at the holiday dinner feast.

I leave you with two great books and a website. In the face of a somewhat indifferent (not to mention Intolerant) society, there can be found a healing balm for caregivers which is self-compassion and self-care. Not to mention whatever your passions are (Bridge, Knitting, Gardening, Travel, Journaling, Crafts… the possibilities are infinite). In other words, Be Your Own Best Friend, period, end of story.

The image above is of Tofino, BC (the trip was a gift from my family, how delightful). Apparently, the Indigenous peoples of Tofino, called the Tla-O-Qui-Aht (pronounced ‘Tla Oo Qui At’), call wilderness ‘home.’ The Land, though rugged, and at times raw, is nevertheless considered ‘home.’ Love that.

And just where is home? To put it like Dorothy in the film ‘The Wizard of Oz’, “There’s no place like home.” Yet, I have a feeling true home lies within the beating chambers of the human heart and has nothing to do with external reality.

And so yes, some folks Out There can be a little ‘Hard of Feeling’ shall we say, I mean towards older adults, as well as the suffering of our loved ones, which is palpable.  Children, after all, are still ‘cute.’ The plight of the caregiver seems to have moved to the back of the bus in this Age. In the province of Quebec, however, family caregivers are now financially compensated by the government. Truly, a ray of Hope, pardon the cliché.

And yet…and yet… There it is: the unmistakable kindness of a stranger. (Do you remember Random Acts of Kindness?).

Sooner or later, we all are mortal, therefore in this lifetime, why not give of ourselves so that we, in turn, enjoy the same when it is our turn to be old-old? After all, we are all in this lifeboat together, so we might as well be neighbourly.

Truly, what have we got to lose (except our planet)?

Stay tuned for ‘Strawberry Fields Forever’ this July.

A July blog post offering the reader a badly needed respite from deadening routine, and the weariness of a long summer in the city.

But summer itself is a season of great life, not to mention Beauty. Away from our over-scheduled lives, if we are lucky.

For isn’t it true that we all have an ‘invincible’ summer within us? Including the person you care for?

I’m not the first one who used that metaphor, just to be honest.

I leave you with the following poem, which should inspire (ignore the reference to God regardless of your belief or non-belief it is a beautiful poem).

Abide With Me

By Henry Francis Lyte

Abide with me: fast falls the eventide;

The darkness deepens, Lord, with me abide:

When other helpers fail, and comforts flee,

Help of the helpless, O abide with me.

Resources

Societal Collapse

Https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Societal_collapse

Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton. Penguin, 2020

How to Say it to Seniors: Closing the Communication Gap, by David Solie, 2004.

A must-read for anyone sympathetic to the dilemmas older adults face.

Taxisavers Program, British Columbia.

(Vancouver region)

Https://www.translink.ca/rider-guide/transit-accessibility/handy

North Shore Community Resources Caregiver Support Program (Truly an Oasis in the desert)

Caregiver Support Program

Images: A view of the beach in Tofino, as I captured on camera.

A quote I spotted in the window of Kerrisdale Community Centre. They have a Seniors Lounge and programs for Older Adults. A good resource for caregivers living in Vancouver.

A Primer on the B.C. Representation Agreement and How it Can Help You and Those You Care For

By Catherine Bryson

Those red (fuchsia) flowers pictured above have everything to do with Springtime and nothing to do with preparing health documents such as a Representation Agreement. But then, Spring is all about renewal, and so that applies to the Representation Agreement as well: starting afresh to take control of your health and the health of those you care for. Though please bear in mind that I am by no means an expert on these forms.

The main thing is—for either of you, is to prepare this document before serious illness, frailty, or cognitive decline set in. Both of you must be of ‘sound mind’ (in other words, mentally competent), at the time either of you sign the document (which also must be witnessed), unless it’s an RA 7 version of the Representation Agreement, but what we’re dealing with here is the RA 9 version. I hope that doesn’t confuse you, but I will say more on the RA 7 below. For most of us, it’s the RA 9.

Basically, the Representation Agreement, once in place and registered with Nidus (don’t worry I will explain about Nidus below), allows the person you name to speak on your behalf (or the person you care for), in the event of unexpected hospitalization, or a serious illness. In fact, all adults should prepare a Representation Agreement, in the event of something sudden and unexpected. After all, while alive we live with the knowledge that our lives may turn on a dime.

While an EPOA (Enduring Power of Attorney), protects either of your finances, the purpose of a Representation Agreement is all about health, covering the treatments you do and do not want, surgery, and end-of-life care. What it boils down to for most of us is a question of quality of life versus mere longevity, though we all differ when it comes to those judgements. That is why it is so vital to know in advance.

If you so choose, you can register your completed (signed, dated, and witnessed), Representation Agreement with a non-profit called Nidus, for a small fee. Nidus Personal Planning and Resource Centre Registry will assist with end-of-life planning, wills, Representation and POA (Power of Attorney) Agreements. The info is in Resources below.

Now, I will bring up the RA 7, which is a relatively new version of the Representation Agreement that can be prepared and signed even when mentally infirm. The RA 7 is a separate form from the RA 9.

By the way, this blog post does not cover another vital document called the MOST form (Medical Orders for Scope of Treatment), which covers your care goals during urgent situations (such as Do Not Resuscitate Order). These documents must be discussed and signed with a medical professional and are usually prepared in hospital or when in a care facility.

I must not forget to mention that once you’ve prepared either of your Representation Agreements or DNR form you must not fail to post them on either your fridge or the fridge of whomever you care for, because it is the first place Paramedics will look when they turn up at 4:00 a.m.

So, the upshot is, be proactive take a deep breath, and get it done, for both of you. Honestly it gives us so much peace of mind. You should also know that you can always write out your wishes for Emergency care (called an Advance Directive, the Representation Agreement is legally binding), on paper and post that on either or both of your fridges, but don’t forget to sign and date and witness for it to be valid it must be.

One last word: if you or whomever you care for does not do this, then in the event of a medical emergency medical professionals will revert to default care (which is to do everything they can to keep you alive, which you may or may not want, or who you care for either.)  Be sure to have that vital conversation (difficult though it may be) with your caree in advance. And don’t forget yourself. Actually, come to think of it, that’s good advice for all of us caregivers: not to forget ourselves. Please see Resources for more useful info on this crucial topic. The South Granville Seniors Network will help you get started with Nidus. Please see Resources.

It is all a bit like ‘the elephant in the room’ but it needs to be said. I myself am in the process of preparing my own Representation Agreement, and I have also posted the completed My Life Kit form and a copy of my handwritten Advance Directive on my fridge and a DNR order on my door. How to order My Life Kit is covered in Resources.

Better to be safe than sorry, as they say. That’s my final word on the subject.

Well. Maybe not quite:

You might want to mention specific medical treatments such as CPR, intubation, and ventilation.

Be specific, avoid using the expression ‘no heroics’. Put your values & beliefs into context of what you do and do not want. And, ultimately, don’t we all want to honour the wishes of those we care for, especially on matters as serious as life & death.

In subsequent blog posts, I will gently and sensitively dip our collective toes in those oft uncharted waters of Death & Dying. Again, the ‘elephant in the room.’ But it will most certainly not be all ‘gloom’. There are other topics I will cover on a brighter note such as How to Care for Your Older Dog. Or for that matter, cognitive enrichment possibilities (even on a budget), and, of course, robots!  So, stay tuned…

A Caregiver’s Survival Guide to Life in the 2020s: The Prevention of Online Scamming

By Catherine Bryson 

A few years ago, I was a victim of identity theft. That is to say, thieves stole my personal information. At the time, I felt a strange swirl of emotions: fear, panic, anger, even shame. Yes, shame. For how could I have been so easily taken in? Even so, if you or a loved one you care for is scammed, reassure both yourself and them that it can happen to anyone, at any time. 

In fact, I will advise encouraging your loved one to share with you as soon as possible if they suspect something strange. For then you can prevent even further theft. Have an open and honest relationship with your loved one — no judgement. 

Sharing is like gold. 

Now I’ll go over some of the basics about scams, and above all, how to spot them early on. I would say have a conversation with your loved one about this, but don’t scare them too much. The goal is awareness. Just basic awareness. Not too much information. In fact, there are some excellent free educational webinars online. Check out SeniorsFirst BC (see Resources below.) 

Scammers may be pretending to be someone you trust, and request you: 

• Send them money 

• Share sensitive information 

At this point, the crucial thing is to take a breath, and PAUSE. 

The following are some of the ways scammers will try to manipulate your emotions: 

• Impersonation (pretend to be organization you know) 

• Someone gives you a sob story (it can trigger strong feelings; you need your antennae up) 

• Sense of urgency (Take 5 minutes or longer to calm down) 

• Threats (such as to cancel an account, if someone asks for payment ignore it, don’t click on anything) 

These are the different kinds of scams you may encounter. Be aware this is constantly evolving, and new technologies such as AI (Artificial Intelligence) will have an impact: 

• Identity theft (you give away your Social Insurance Number or your credit card info to thieves) 

• Investment scams (such as bit coin, cryptocurrency) 

• Romance scams (Scammers could take weeks or months to gain your trust, so be aware) 

• E-transfer fraud 

• Phishing (Digital impersonation. Don’t click on link or attachment, go to company website, be aware of phishing emails or phone calls) 

• Spoofing (Again, digital impersonation, the number on your caller ID could look legitimate, for example, it could say ‘Canada Revenue’ and in fact be a fake number, either that, or it could be a fake website, such as applying for a passport that isn’t legitimate. Or you could get an email that looks like it is really from Netflix, saying that your account will be cancelled (threat). Do not click on anything because that can activate malware that can interfere with your computer. Hold your mouse over the email address if there is one, sometimes a suspicious non-official looking email address will be revealed, alerting you to the scam) 

And now I will share with you how you are protected from fraud in Canada by financial institutions, and what you can do if you suspect you have been scammed (Note however that 50% of fraud cases go unreported because of the stigma around being scammed): 

Know this: how you are protected from fraud by financial institutions also must evolve to protect clients. For this reason, financial institutions invest in fraud protection, as you will see from the Resources provided below, but in truth, your best protection is you: 

• Slow down 

• Do not share one-time security codes 

• Verify any payment change instruction 

• Never be embarrassed to call your bank if something feels ‘off’ or wrong 

• Security features (Account alerts, multi-factor authentication, card controls) help. If you suspect fraud, stop, block, cancel, change password, lock your credit card, hang up the phone. 

• Call your financial institution even if you are embarrassed or scared. They will help you with the next steps. 

• Monitor your accounts and make no further transactions. 

• Tell a family member or RCMP. 

• Contact the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre (see Resources below). 

I will tell you now about those good people responsible for this comprehensive webinar. It is the BC-CRN (BC Association of Community Response Networks) held in March 2026 sponsored by Cascadia Credit Union. They (the BC-CRN) are involved in awareness of Elder Abuse. And since fraud and scamming of seniors is itself elder abuse, it is right and proper that they should do that. 

After my Caregiver Blog post on the preparation of Representation Agreements (we all need one), I will return to this discussion of elder abuse with a post on its prevention and what to do if someone you care about experiences this sort of abuse. Also, to give you the heads up that June 15, 2026 is World Elder Abuse Awareness Day. A global movement launched in 2006 to promote the dignity and rights of older adults. 

I may need to take a step back or so from posting to the Caregivers Blog going forward. It’s not that I’ll stop outright (I couldn’t imagine doing that) it’s just that I’ve had some challenges these past few years and they are starting to be ‘felt’ more. So like all good caregivers, I must do self-care. 

Know this: I will continue to write for the blog as well as the Grapevine. Just less frequently. 

So, rest assured. 

Just like during the Second World War, I choose to ever and always Keep Calm and Carry On. Also, be on the alert for scams relating to the upcoming FIFA World Cup games. In addition, and it pains me to say this, but be on the alert for scammers posing as workers from the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre mentioned above. 

I will add this: personally, I think trust, and above all Trust in the Commons (‘public space’, be it real or virtual), is essential for any healthy society. If we lose that, well… let’s just try to hope that all trust and faith in humanity will not be lost in our own lifetimes, or our own grandchildren’s. 

Resources: 

BC Association of Community Response Networks 

Home

Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre 

Https://antifraudcentre-centreantifraude.ca/index-eng.htm

Fraud Prevention Toolkit for Older Adults by BMO (Bank of Montreal) 

Click to access 2024CyberSecurityOlderAdultsToolkit_EN.pdf

Office of the Seniors Advocate British Columbia 

Home

Financial Scam Prevention Identity Theft Protection 

Elder Abuse Prevention Ontario 

Https://eapon.ca/aiovg_videos/financial-scam-prevention-theft-protection

CBA Canadian Bankers Association 

Fraud Prevention Toolkit for Older Adults 

Https://cba.ca/article/fraud-prevention-toolkit-older-adults

‘Seniors Guide to Protect Against Scammers, Spammers and Hackers’ 

By Gary Calvaneso (2020) 

Have a Safe & Happy Spring 

If you haven’t purchased some form of AC may I suggest you do so soon as a warm summer is forecasted. In my next post I will include the link for the funded BC AC (Air Conditioning) for Low-Income Seniors. 

A Day in the Life of an Ex-Caregiver: Sharing the Burden of Care and Embracing Hope in 2026

By Catherine Bryson

‘La lune a perdu sa mémoire.’ ‘The Moon has lost her memory.’ T.S. Eliot

I decided to observe my reflections during even as mundane a thing as a short journey by bus to nearby Kerrisdale, as if some invisible hidden meaning could be found there, or some insight into the plight of caregivers everywhere including older adults.

I ‘read’ the urban landscape as if I were reading a book. It instructs me. Every day, I am always learning new things simply by observing the world around me. I suppose you’d call me the ‘curious’ sort.

While I was waiting for the bus, (my last bus, as by that point I was beginning to tire), I observed high up in the branches of a tree a crow feeding her babies. It was such a hopeful sign of Spring, it seemed to me, amidst these terribly dark news stories that surround us. Those phosphorescent green leaves are only just beginning to emerge, and no matter what my age I can always find hope in delighting in yet another Spring. Spring is rather short-lived in British Columbia, I find, to be followed by many months of incredibly blue skies and heat (regrettably yes, heat.)

Even so, new life is emerging, even amid the noisy traffic. In the distance, I see the Oakridge Park towers; the Future Shock we all are surrounded by, with the emergence of AI.

A week later, I was to attend a conversation between CBC journalist Adrienne Arsenault and Nobel Prize winner Maria Ressa, a crusader for freedom in social media, and also an author of a new book: ‘How to Stand up to a Dictator.’ But my god they both have such an amazing sense of humour, even though the subject matter was very serious. Laughter amid tears. Maria Ressa’s message of ‘Facts, Truth, and Trust’ was, I must say, highly inspiring. If you ever watch YouTube videos, you can also try and catch Naomi Klein and Karen Hao discussing: ‘The Empire of AI and the Fight for our Future.’

Why do I mention Maria Ressa and caregiving in the same post? Because in truth they are related. But how?

Well, to be a caregiver, at all, you haveto care. And to be in this world as it is now, you have to care, also. About the situation in the world today, and the challenges we all face, and that our grandchildren and great grandchildren will face. And how the ‘micro world’ of domestic caregiving is folded into the ‘macro-world’ of geopolitics. Not to ignore either one. But both.

When I arrived in Kerrisdale after a ride on the Express bus, I noticed a crowd of young people around the McDonald’s Restaurant. There were swarms of youth, mostly oblivious to the elderly pedestrians sharing the sidewalk. When I then set eyes on two women waiting for the bus: one in a wheelchair, elderly, obviously infirm; and the other younger, and leaning over the elderly woman, softly singing, barely audible over the din of traffic. Not wishing to intrude on the private moment both women were sharing, I discreetly took a photo, which you see above, along with the photo of the bird’s nest and cherry blossoms on my street.

Such a beautiful and intimate scene of care, and above all, kindness and concern. How human. Even with AI, we can still care. I mean really care. And that is what we all need, it seems to me. The sense that life is short, and that human life is fragile, therefore care in the moment, care in the here and now. It is clearly time to care, now more than ever, for what else is there? Money can only go so far. Though granted, as one writer said, it is ‘coined freedom.’

To me, this pair of youth and age was affirming the persistence of humanity in spite of rampant change.

The Past is Imperfect.

We know that.

Even the Future is Imperfect.

And the Present…well…

The Present is Tense.

And so, I present the beautiful book from the 1970s ‘Hope for the Flowers.’

And yet, if you find yourself as a lonely, overburdened caregiver feeling exhausted and emotional, perhaps even despair, know this:

We’ve all been there.

I have, you have, we all have.

So really, you are never alone.

If you feel inspired, join the Caregiver Support Group or the Bereavement Support Groups at NSCR, and ‘share the burden of care.’

Drop your luggage and take a load off your mind.

Maybe cry, maybe laugh.

But in the company of like-minded others.

Together. Because the truth is, we’re all in this crazy lifeboat together, singing and dancing our way through the mighty storms that plague us. To safety. To peace.

At long last.

We will arrive.

In the next few blog posts, I will continue my exploration of Legal Documents for Seniors. Both carers and loved ones. The next one will be on the Representative Agreement. So, stay tuned…

Resources

‘Hope for the Flowers’ (1973, Paulist Press)

Maria Ressa ‘How to Stand Up to a Dictator: The Fight for Our Future’

Maria Ressa in Conversation with Adrienne Arsenault, Chan Centre for the Performing Arts, March 12, 2026.

North Shore Community Resources

Caregiver Support Program

North Shore Community Resources

Seniors & Caregivers

Caregiver Support Program Coordinator: Vic Gailiunas

Vic.gailiunas@nscr.ca

Caregiver Support Group

Bereavement Support Group

8^th Annual Caregiver Expo (North Shore)

Silver Harbour Centre

144 East 22^nd St, North Vancouver

Saturday, May 2, 12 Noon to 4 pm

Free Admission

‘Where seniors and caregivers can comfortably connect with friends and neighbours while gathering valuable information.’

For more information see:

https://www.nsnews.com/sponsored/ageless-seniors-expos-bring-connection-and-trusted-resources-to-the-north-shore-community-11979295

A Primer on Personal Life Planning for Seniors (Legal and Health Documents)

Lesson One (The POA – Power of Attorney and EPOA – Enduring Power of Attorney)

By Catherine Bryson

First, a caveat to the reader: I am by no means an expert on the topic of Personal Life Planning. There are scores of books out there in the market, some geared specifically for Canadians. Be aware however, that BCs laws on Personal Planning Documents vary from the laws in other Canadian provinces. It is always good practice to look at a Government Website or the excellent resource, Nidus Registry, for help educating yourself about BC’s laws. Also, Personal Life Planning can refer to books on life goals, which is not the same as the Personal Planning involving legal or health documents. Personal Planning is divided into four main areas; a combination of these areas will be different for everyone since we all have different needs and situations. These areas are: Legal, Financial, Personal and Health. I recommend you invest 30 minutes of your time and watch the free YouTube video on what Personal Life Planning entails put out by Nidus. Simply go to the Webinars tab on the Nidus website and navigate to the free introductory recording.

In this post, I will be introducing a new resource, The Nidus Registry. The Nidus Registry is a not-for-profit unique to British Columbia for British Columbians. The cost is minimal and it gives considerable peace of mind. (But this is not an ‘ad’ for Nidus Registry, by any means. I am merely including it as a helpful resource.)

For example, you can register  a personal planning legal document called a Power of Attorney (Or Enduring Power of Attorney) on the Nidus Registry (see link in Resources below) at minimal cost and it gives you instant peace of mind as health agencies can avail themselves of this document which exists in the Registry online, and you specifically give permission for these entities when you register your document.

You can also register a Representation Agreement and an Advance Directive, both of which I will cover in subsequent lessons. Again, I do not profess to be an expert, but I have devoted many hours towards educating myself on this issue.

If you are new to Personal Life Planning, you should know that this refers to legal documents which aim to serve while you are ALIVE, as opposed to what is called ‘Estate Planning’ which is for after you pass on. It is Personal Planning exclusively that I will address in this series, not Estate Planning. It is, however, essential that if you are over the age of 40 (or indeed anytime during adulthood is a good idea, such as before major surgery), that you create a Will with a Notary Public or Lawyer. A Will is a good place to start. Indeed, that’s where I started. However, if you live in BC you’ll want to consult the Estate Planning laws in British Columbia specifically. Note that if you wish to create a Will, it must be witnessed (in person) by two ADULTS not related to you, and both witnesses must sign and date the document at the time of signing.

The same thing that applies to Personal Planning also applies to Estate Planning, I am hardly an expert, but I have educated myself as to preparing these documents. For example, I attended two workshops on Personal Life Planning and Estate Planning, in person, in BC in 2025 and 2026, at the time of this writing.

I will now provide you with the notes from the workshop I attended recently at Richmond Public Library (as part of the Richmond Seniors Program) on preparing legal documents for seniors, in this case the POA or Power of Attorney.

An EPOA or Enduring Power of Attorney, can cover your financial affairs (remember, while you are alive), in the event that you need help doing so. When you draft the EPOA, you must be mentally competent, and when you meet with your lawyer or notary you will be assessed so that they can verify your level of competency. This is why it is so crucial to draft an EPOA while you are still in full possession of your faculties, because if you wait until something like dementia takes root, it will be too late. Note that with an EPOA, the financial aspects go ahead as soon as you become incapacitated.

In other words, if you are 50 years of age or over, take the time to draft it. Note that when you have your lawyer (or notary) prepare your EPOA you must name two ‘Attorneys’ these are the people (or ‘agents’) that will manage your financial affairs, and if need be two Alternate Attorneys (this is recommended.) You must provide the full name and home address of each Attorney. Verify that those are accurate before you sign.

The main difference between an EPOA (Enduring Power of Attorney) and POA (Power of Attorney) is that only with an EPOA does the document remain valid should you lose mental capacity (but remember that to draft the document, either an EPOA or a POA, you must be mentally competent.) Therefore, with the POA, as soon as you lose capacity, the document no longer applies.

Remember that your EPOA must be witnessed and signed by both Attorneys you specify. That means that you will need to take a trip in person to your lawyer or notary with your two Attorneys. Also, the lawyer must be present at that time. I speak from experience that there is no need to feel anxious about this appointment. Most lawyers or notaries are pleasant and understanding.

One very important thing to note is that if you change your mind about your Attorney, you can always create a new EPOA. And if you don’t like the way your Attorney is handling your finances, you can name a different one (but you will have to go through the whole process over again.)

In conclusion, preparing an EPOA is vital. The reason being that otherwise your spouse and kids will have to battle everything out by themselves, not knowing your wishes.

In my next Blog Post on Personal Planning documents, I will cover what a Representation Agreement is and how to make one. This is another vital document, but one that covers health more than finances (though for certain individuals it can also cover financial matters).

In short, you need an EPOA for your financial matters, and a Representation Agreement for health. That is if you are an adult (over 19) and have capacity. (However, thanks to some incredible folks, even if you have a mental disability, you can still draft a Representation Agreement). There are two other things that I will also cover: these are an Advance Directive and a MOST form.

A MOST form in British Columbia stands for Medical Orders for Scope of Treatment, essential for those with chronic or life-threatening illnesses. There is another form (I know, forms, forms and more forms!) called a Medical Order for No Resuscitation. I will explain that too. You must post it on your fridge for the paramedics.

I know all this sounds daunting, especially if you are on your own like I am, but you CAN do it!

One step at a time.

And the reward is: Peace of Mind.

Priceless.

Resources

Websites:

Government of British Columbia

https://www2.gov.bc.ca

Nidus

Personal Planning

Books:

The Essential Canadian Guide to Estate Planning by Kevin Wark, 2018

Before It’s Too Late: The Estate Organizer for Canadians

By Nicole Garton, 2023

© CAB 2026

Tips for Caregivers with Siblings and Introducing the Notion of Intergenerational Relationships

By Catherine Bryson

We’ve all heard about the significance of birth order and how that impacts the life trajectory. For example, as the youngest child, I demonstrated some very typical youngest child behavior. Perhaps ‘lighter’, not as laser focused as the typical first-born, which very aptly describes my older sister: ambitious, determined, responsible. Is it any wonder that in many folk tales, it is the youngest child who goes off on adventures and has a perilous journey but in the end triumphs.

This article concerns itself with your caregiving experience, and more specifically, with how you interact with your caregiver siblings. I provide links for further reading in the Resources section below. This article also introduces the concept of intergenerational relationships, a topic that is becoming more talked about these days.

There is one expert in particular, Dennis Gilbert, author of ‘Forgotten Respect: Navigating a Multigenerational Workforce’ (2015). Mr. Gilbert has this to say on the subject, and I think you will find it helpful:

‘Respect and good communication practices are required to reach across all generations regardless of which generation you represent.’

I included above the ‘Workforce Generations Chart’, which Mr. Gilbert created and posted on his website, the link to which is, again, in the Resources section at the end of this article.

According to Mr. Gilbert, there are three crucial factors that influence what a particular generation will display:

• Socio-economic conditions (for example, people who were children during the Great Depression of the 1930s)
• Technology (the emergence of the personal computer and now AI)
• War (regrettably yes, it must be mentioned: WWII, Vietnam, the Gulf War)

Here is a brief breakdown of the main characteristics of the different generations. Find your generation in the list and then compare with the others:

The Silent Generation (also known as ‘Traditionalists’) – Born 1925 to 1945

Came of age during post-war prosperity.

This generation was taught the Golden Rule at Sunday School:

‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you’

The subsequent generations, unfortunately, didn’t always learn that principle. And their indifference is a mark of the modern person’s Why the F*ck Would I Care?  attitude. There is even a book with that title. Whereas, of course, we all, without exception, must absolutely be the Guardians of each other’s mental wellness, including our own health. More importantly we must care, for the sake of ourselves and for our planet. In my view, there will be serious consequences if we do not restore one another’s hearts to full capacity. Meaning, the generousity of our caring.

Baby Boomer – Born 1946-1964

Came of age during post Second World War prosperity.

Gen X – Born 1965 to 1980

Latch key kids, the growing field of technology.

Millennials – Born 1981-1996

(This group is often mentioned in the media and ads are targeted for their specific characteristics)

First Digital Natives, diverse, pragmatic. Also, dedicated Harry Potter books readers.

Gen Z (also known as ‘Zoomers’) – Born 1997-2012

When they were young pre-teens, they were exposed to the news of the Great Recession of 2009. And as children, they were exposed to the emergence of the Internet, and cell phones.

Now, I come to the section on relations between sibling caregivers, a topic I have personal experience with. I will list in the Resources below two online articles that you can read on the subject. Space is limited and I regret to say I cannot go into too much detail. This is what I gleaned from the second article mentioned, the one by CANES Community Care (of Ontario):

• ABC

Always Be Communicating

Communicate with siblings any changes in parents’ health (such as medication changes)

• Play to Each Other’s Strengths

(While seeking balance)

These are some of the factors needed to be taken into consideration:

-Your proximity to parent

-Your financial resources

-Your relationship with your parent and your own family situation

• Recognize and Reciprocate Sacrifice

By letter or by gift or by phone

Above all, recognize the courage of the primary caregiver for choosing to remain in the trenches (let’s say there wasn’t ever 100% choice but there is always a small margin of choice in almost any situation) Above all, seek to avoid caregiver burnout and its negative emotional and physical consequences. Also, learn as much as you can about effective interpersonal communication: both with your parents and your siblings as well as health professionals.

As a sibling, you are situated both in terms of your family of origin and your family of choice. But did you know that there is a therapeutic model called IFS: Internal Family Systems?

It was originally developed by Richard Schwarz in the 1990s. Mr. Schwarz theorized that we all have many ‘parts’ to ourselves which in turn make up our ‘internal family.’

Did you ever stop to think that whenever you are faced with an important decision your internal ‘Committee’ steps up to the plate, debating endlessly each possible ramification? This is what is meant by your ‘internal family.’

For if you have been typecast as ‘the responsible one’, consider stepping out of your entrenched role and at least attempting to ‘share the burden of care’, (thereby relinquishing ‘martyrdom’.) I remember once feeling so exhausted and overextended that I cancelled a lunch date with two wonderful caregivers I’d met in one of the NSCR Caregiver Support Groups. Believe me, I eternally regret that decision for I believe it would have had the potential for a kind of ‘system interrupt’ in which I would have finally realized that I can’t hold up the whole burden of care by myself alone.

I recommend you check out NSCR’s Caregiver and Bereavement Support Groups and that you investigate and sign up for their FREE workshops offered this year. In the Resources section I include the email address of NSCR’s Caregivers Support Program Coordinator, Vic Gailiunas, who would be more than happy to refer you to any of those programs.

A final word: The image of the bent and twisted tree above, to me illustrates how diverse caregivers’ responses to calamities may be. Some ‘bend in the wind’, while others stay stiff, in danger of their branches snapping. Think of the above tree as a ‘Survivor’ (like the television series); a heroine (or hero) of her own story. And although the tree may not be the handsomest, yet how curiously attractive it is in its ugliness (like the French ‘belle laide’of yesteryear.)

And perhaps someday, you will write that story, you will share your ‘blueprint’, your ‘watermark’, your ‘avatar’, with the wider world. For ‘the truth will out’ sooner or later: for you, for me, for all of us.

Stay tuned for my forthcoming Grapevine article: ‘In Praise of S-L-O-W’, about honouring older adults, both caregiver and care receiver alike.

By the way, this article, as with all my articles and blog posts, was written and researched from scratch and I do not at any time use AI (except when I do a Google search.) But all the writing is original. And I’ll certainly do my best to keep it that way, whomever it is I write for both now and in the future.

Resources

Dennis E. Gilbert Workforce Generations Chart

Generations Chart

How I got my Passive Sibling to Help Care for Our Parents by Jacqueline Marcell

https://www.agingcare.com

Three Tips for Siblings Who Are Caregivers for an Elderly Parent

https://www.canes.on.ca

Internal Family Systems (IFS) Institute

https://ifs-institute.com

Vic Gailiunas Caregiver Support Program, North Shore Community Resources (NSCR) 604-982-3320

Vic.Gailiunas@nscr.ca

Impromptu Dispatch to Caregivers’ Blog: Older Adult Mental Health Services

By Catherine Bryson

The quote above I hope inspires you.

I will start by recounting an experience I had at a Webinar recently where one of the older adults in the group lamented that she had ‘so much to do’ she didn’t know where to begin, and therefore, didn’t make an attempt, since she felt like she was facing a mountain of tasks and about .05% energy in which to accomplish those tasks!

Sound familiar? It is indeed an irony that while in theory older retired adults have ‘lots of time’ in reality, quite often, they do not. For any number of reasons, such as sleeping more due to fatigue, or having to juggle multiple health (and dental, regrettably) appointments ‘etc. etc.’ (to borrow a phrase from that delightful old movie ‘The King and I’.)

But should you ever find yourself working in the domain of older adult mental health (either for pay or volunteer), here are two tips for you gleaned from a Right at Home webinar I recently attended entitled:

Mental Health in Older Adulthood: What Community Providers Need to Know

1. The Acronym DELIVER which stands for:

D   draw upon strengths, such as wisdom

E   empathize with active living and curiosity (“It sounds like…”)

L     lean into the present moment

I     identify their support system

V   verify safety through health risk assessments (“Are you safe?”)

E    expand the treatment lens and think holistically

R    refer to community and professional resources

I. hope that helps.

• Assessing Suicide Risk:

I have read recently that the suicide rate among adults 65 and over in the U.S. has gone up (I think by approximately 5%) in recent years. Therefore, it is now very timely to assess whether an older adult is at risk (even though this is Canada and not the U.S.):

Here are a few warning signs for you to think of:

• Direct or indirect statements indicating desire to die
• Giving away possessions
• Loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities
• Isolation, feeling ‘cut off’, disconnected

I have also read to always take any mention of possibly harming themselves seriously and not thinking that ‘they just want attention.’

Also, although most of us would rather not talk about suicide it is nonetheless important to have that conversation should the situation require it.

If someone really is at serious risk, it is recommended not to leave them alone.

I once heard the famous Irish blues singer Mary Coughlan croon the lines:

‘If I should get the notion,

To jump into the ocean…

It ain’t nobody’s business

What I do.’

Well, that is arguable, isn’t it? It is certainly a controversial issue with many differing viewpoints.

And it isn’t at all surprising that the topic of suicide crops up from time to time because, a disturbing statistic is that at least 1 in 4 individuals will contemplate ending their lives at some point in their lifetimes.

I hope the above snippets of information help you in your work.

You are indeed to be commended for even for attempting to tackle this issue, which is by no means an easy one, as we have all by now heard the saying:

‘Old age isn’t for sissies.’

Later in the month I will post a ‘how-to’ blog post on preparing an EPOA (Enduring Power of Attorney). It is a vital document for any older adult over the age of 50. And yet, the statistics as to the percentage of Canadians who have prepared this legal document is dismally low.

No one thinks it’ll ever happen to them.

But then it does.

Life happens when we least expect it.

Is that not a universal truth? (I just made up that phrase 10 seconds ago.)

By the way, I just read today that the author of that classic book ‘Our Bodies, Our Selves’ passed away today (March 16^th, 2026).

It was a really helpful book.

Resources:

Right at Home (U.S.)

“I’m so effing tired!’ by MD Amy Shah (recent book)

‘Adrenal Fatigue’ by James M. Wilson

Power Lines: Self-Empowerment Through Caregiving

By Catherine Bryson

You may well ask why I have a photo of a gas station above. Though true prices have risen in recent weeks, that’s not why I chose that image for my post. Notice the sign that says: ‘Full Serve.’ To me, this sign illustrates metaphorically how I am now, as a former caregiver, in a position to fully ‘serve’ my own needs, perhaps for the first time in over a quarter of a century. And yet, habits die hard, as here at home I still continue giving, any way that I am able.

But now, it is I who must contemplate my future care. I have made a number of legal documents in the past few years to that end. And am now working on a Representative Agreement and Advance Directive (more on how to make those and why in a future post). In any case, I will  share my process with you.

It has now been two years since my dear father passed. Much has taken place in the interim. I feel, in some ways like it is almost 10 years since he passed. Those difficult memories, as well as current challenges do tend to impact my well-being, however, I am working on being resilient, a crucial factor for an older adult on a budget.

I remember, in particular, struggling to work up my courage to have ‘The Difficult Conversations’ with my parents. Had they been more cooperative, it would have been so much less difficult! Instead, my sister and I had a rather difficult journey through a long, long tunnel, and have only just emerged on the other side, only to find even still more challenges.

Such is life. My sister is a Baby Boomer, and as such, took on a leadership role during the process of getting care for my parents. As for me, a Gen X (though on the cusp between that and Baby Boomer), I tended to use my ‘soft skills’ more. We each had our particular skill sets. In a subsequent article in the Grapevine, I will discuss caregiving between siblings, family dynamics, and intergenerational aging.

For now, I contemplate how both of us rose like the proverbial phoenix, from the ‘ashes’ of grief and moderate trauma. Indeed, it could have been worse. You remember that 70s show ‘The Six Million Dollar Man’? At times, I feel like him, like I have been ‘rebuilt’. Remember in the opening theme to the show, a voice in the background says, determinedly: ‘we can re-build him.’

Well, that’s what I, my family, and other health professionals in my network did for me. And I feel extraordinarily grateful for that support.

So…

I am here

And will remain so

Until I breathe

My very last.

For indeed,
I am not going anywhere

Fast.

What was once,

Is no more

And what will be

Remains to be seen.

For at the moment of birth

At at the moment of passing

We will all be

Closer to the Source.

The source

Of Being-Ness

That is the gift

Of being born

And of passing.

I speak of the ‘source’ or ‘essence’ because, in my father’s last few hours, I felt something incredibly profound, as I imagine, a parent must do when their child is born. The awe of life. The awe of the process of life itself. The awe of just ‘being.’

I realize that now.

Now that I am (theoretically) not ‘working’, I can just ‘be’ sometimes.

I can feel the ‘connection’ to my inner self and the world around me.

And I hope you do too, either as a carer or if you are like me, as a former carer.

For what does it mean to care?

It means, to go beyond that small self to something larger than ourselves.

And most of all, to care means to embrace my humanity.

At a time when alas, our humanity itself may be the very thing we are in danger of losing.

I mean what with the current situation, and AI.

Still, let us hope I am wrong.

Let us hope there is still time.

The picture of the trolley cables and that small sign that you will notice says ‘power lines’, to me represents what I call, the ‘hidden power of caregiving.’

For I have been there.

And I have survived.

And in a certain sense,

I have ‘arrived.’

And may you as well, no matter where your journey takes you.

I include, in the Resources below, a quick synopsis of the different generations. Personally, I find that very interesting. How truly significant is the year of our birth, in terms of our life experience.

British Columbia is rapidly aging. Indeed, as it turns out, more than any other province. In 2016, 18.3% of us were age 65 or over. By 2036, it will rise to 25.5%

But most of us know that.

Still, let us hope that we can always, always, afford to care.

Though it may mean that more of us have to ‘step up to the plate’ in the years ahead, to make up the difference between what care we can afford to provide, and what care we ourselves can provide.

In either case, our ‘humanity’, as well as our compassion, becomes our best asset.

The caregivers of the future not only (for some) need financial compensation, but also guidance, emotional support, and skill sets such as what to do in the event of a fall. In this way, caregivers themselves would get care. Therefore, the carers of the future become honoured members of the community. Indeed, like the ‘essential workers’ during the Pandemic.

As well as of course, resilience.

I will, in the future, try to build up a toolbox for you, whether you are a carer or a former carer. One final word: the province of Quebec is thinking of giving family caregivers some kind of ‘wage’ as it were, in return for their time and dedication. Smart move. Would that we in BC could follow suit.

Recognition and validation are the two most valuable things every carer needs. Caregiving is work. And as such, we must honour it and be grateful for the carers who can care for their loved one at home, thereby not crowding the overburdened hospitals. In this way, a caregiver becomes a very valuable asset to 21^st century Canadian society.

Resources

BC Caregiver Support Line

1-877-520-3267

Monday to Friday 8:30 AM to 4 PM

Gen Z Born 1997-2012

(Gen Z, Zoomers)

Millenials Born 1981-1996

(First digital natives, diverse, pragmatic)

Gen-X born 1965-1980

(Latch key kids, rise of personal computing  – in a strange reversal of roles, it was my mother who taught me how to use a PC in the early 80s)

Baby Boomer 1946-1964 (Post-war population boom)

The Silent Generation Born 1925-1945 (Came of age during post-war prosperity)

Coming up soon to the Caregiver Support Program Grapevine Newsletter:

Intergenerational relationships, Family Dynamics in caregiving, Sibling relationships among carers.

It is now Spring. (See above photo) Along with the return of the sun after it’s long winter nap, we have at long last the glorious cherry blossoms. Vancouver in the Spring is simply beautiful, and beauty heals the troubled soul. Therefore ‘Enjoy’ (Cliché though that is)