The Mindful Caregiver

Buddhism 101
By CAB

On Hope (Spring 2021) 

…’At church I find peace 

And fellowship, 

And harmony in the music. 

And I am comforted by the knowledge 

That if I fall— 

Others will come to my side, 

And help me find the faith 

To rise again.’ 

(Poem ‘The Key to Freedom’ by C.A. Bryson, published in Visions, Spring 2001) 

I wrote this poem a long time ago and I’m afraid that since then due to overwhelming adversity I’ve lost the faith that that poem speaks of. However, I do try to forgive, and to have hope. Indeed, that is what this blog post is about: hope. 

When the authorities began rolling out their plan for vaccination from COVID-19, the seeds of hope were finally sewn. To me, it felt like seeing a faint glimmer of hope after living in an endless dark tunnel for a very long time. It is Spring now, yesterday was the first day of Spring, when I wrote this. Although a cloudy day, I knew for sure that the sunlight will very soon follow. Gradually, the days get longer and we emerge from the winter darkness subsumed with light. But also light in our hearts, in our minds. In our souls. 

As someone once wrote: ‘Hope springs eternal in the human breast.’ And wasn’t it Cicero who wrote: ‘Where there is life, there is hope.’ There is life now: the daffodils, the cherry blossoms, the buzzing of honey bees is sure to come. For me, there is the warmth in my heart knowing that my octogenarian father has been finally vaccinated against COVID. Yes!! Finally, my loved one is out of danger. 

In a moment of peace, I sip my tea.  But any time is a good time for tea. Even after a crisis, as Bernard-Paul Heroux once said: ‘There is no trouble so great or so grave that cannot be much diminished by a nice cup of tea.’ 

I am not, I confess, a born gardener. But I very much appreciate other people’s gardens.  Tending to one’s emotions, I’ve found, is not entirely much different than tending to bothersome weeds. Famous French philosopher Voltaire wrote: ‘Cultivate your garden.’ He meant the garden of our thoughts, the garden of our emotions.  Buddhist teacher Dzogchen Ponlop had this to say about our emotions: 

‘the goal of a good warrior is to conquer—not kill—the enemy forces, and to bring happiness and joy to all sides…Destruction is not the goal. The goal is to transform every kind of suffering into happiness for every kind of being that’s capable of feeling and thought.’ According to Ponlop, then, as we are speaking of weeds, I am correct to say that there is no need for toxic pesticides. Our goal is to ‘transform’ those weeds into compost, not destroy them for all time. 

(p. 186 ‘Emotional Rescue’ (2016) by Dzogchen Ponlop) 

When the dark days of COVID descended on us, did you manage to find hope within? Sometimes finding hope can be a lot like looking at the sky on a cloudy day (like today, for example).  I look up, and I see forbidding-looking clouds.  Rain is forecasted. Darn. Better bring in the garden chair cushions…But wait! What is there beyond the clouds? What is there when you fly to Honolulu and the plane at high altitude finally emerges of from  the clouds into a great blue sky. So, there is hope. It is simply the question of waiting. Of being patient. 

And those pesky irritating weeds? Where are they? Why of course, they are in the compost. The compost becomes rich in nutrients, thanks to those weeds, and coffee grounds…So we process our emotions, even the difficult ones, (especially the difficult ones), and we grow richer for it. Wiser. Perhaps, a little more grateful. Let us nurture our ‘soil’, the better to enliven and enrich our emotional ‘gardens.’ 

CAB 

2021 

The Blue Bird of Happiness: The Dalai Lama on Happiness

By CAB
Navajo ‘The Bluebird Song’

‘Bluebird said to me,

“…Get up my grandchild.

It is dawn,” It said to me.’

‘…You will find

Greater peace of mind

When you find

The Blue Bird of Happiness.’

(Popular song, as recounted by my father D.M.B)

This is to be my first post of a series of posts entitled: ‘Buddhism 101.’ Stay tuned. The Blue Bird has been featured in many old, old tales throughout the world. For our purposes, I discuss the stage play ‘The Blue Bird’ (1908) by Maurice Maeterlink. In this play, two young children are sent out by a fairy to find the Blue Bird of Happiness. The children travel far and wide to find the Blue Bird of Happiness, but come home empty-handed, only to discover that the Blue Bird has been in their house all along. The children decide to give the Blue Bird to a sick neighbour child, and all find happiness in the end.

You can read more about the Blue Bird in song and poetry here:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bluebird_of_happiness

You might well ask: why all this talk of the Blue Bird of Happiness? Well, it all fits in perfectly with an article I read recently about the Dalai Lama’s view on happiness.

‘Dalia Lama: Happiness from Within’ Ricard, M. (2011) International Journal of Well-being 1(2), 274-290.

In my studies relating to my Buddhism 101 posts, I’ve often come across the concept of ‘no-self’ or non-identification with the ego. The Dalai Lama talks about this at length, saying that egocentricity in fact leads to unhappiness. For example, the next time you feel blue, or lonely—think of all the people feeling blue and lonely, just like you. I find this helps a lot.

The next piece of wisdom is: the best route to happiness is altruism. To wish both yourself and others happiness. In other words, the Golden Rule. But what does this say about Machiavellian types? (Recall, Machiavelli wrote The Prince, a work on ruthless ambition.) The Greater Good is so important, but challenges our North American value of rugged individualism, rather than a more collectivist society. When I first read about the Dalai Lama back in the 90s, he impressed upon me the philosophy of human interdependence, especially in the way our interdependencematters for the Earth’s ecology. Perhaps, in a sense, Canada is unique because we straddle both perspectives: on the one hand, capitalistic, and on the other hand, more collectivist. The best way to illustrate this concept is with a quote:

‘Someone who looks for happiness outside takes everything from the world, and someone who seeks happiness from within has something to give the world.’ (M. Ricard)

I leave you with a brief yet effective mindfulness practice, gleaned from Mindful Magazine (Spring 2021: Elaine Smookler’s piece ‘Love Your Enemy’)

It is called: ‘Serenity Now’.

Step 1: Find somewhere to sit, stand, or lie down. Take 3 deep breaths, then settle into a natural breathing rhythm.

Step 2: Feel your whole face relaxing. Release the tension in your neck, your shoulders, and your belly. Imagine a sun beaming in your heart. Picture yourself at the centre of this radiant light.

Step 3: Send the following intentions to yourself:

May I be free from suffering

May I find peace and joy.

Step 4: Picture someone you are having difficulty with—whether that difficulty is large or small. Offer these words of compassion to that person:

May you be free from suffering

May you find peace and joy

Step 5: Notice your breathing and your body, and then notice your mind. Are you feeling more at ease? Do you feel more peaceful?

Yes, You Can Teach an Old Dog New Tricks

by C.A. Bryson
A paint-by-numbers painting I completed last year from a digitized picture provided by the company ‘mii creations’. Since then I’ve become a convert. I’m working on one now based on a photo of our beloved Lab who passed a few years ago. I hope you like it! 

This week I offer to you, O blog friends, excerpts from a book on the healing power of pets. Isn’t it an interesting fact that due to the COVID-19 pandemic, many lonesome men and women sought to acquire a furry companion. For some, this turned out to be quite the project. But in the end, the joys (and sorrows) of dog ownership. Even if you don’t have a pet (I don’t), these excerpts should put a smile on your face, and even, perhaps, inspire into acquiring a pet of your own.  

For more info on this new trend, see: 

‘Dog Ownership is trending’: Rescue Dogs Come to Canada in Search of Forever Families’ 

https://bc.ctvnews.ca/dog-ownership-is-trending-rescue-dogs-come-to-canada-in-search-of-forever-families

Excerpts from: 

‘The Healing Power of Pets: Harnessing the Amazing Ability of Pets to Make and Keep People Happy and Healthy’ by Dr. Marty Becker (Hyperion, 2002) 

From Part I: 

‘Sedentary Lifestyle-A Heart-to-Heart Walk’ (p. 111) 

An elderly woman meets her dog-to-be: 

“No!” she answered, astonished. “Because from the first time I laid eyes on him, I felt like God slipped me a Mickey.” 

(Mickey: colloquial term for a small bottle of hard liquor). ‘The Mickey that Ruth had been slipped is the health-inspiring relationship with an animal that can serve as a stimulus to exercise and engage with the world in the way that we, if left completely on our own, frequently decline to do.’ 

p.114 

More inspiration than mere perspiration: 

‘One of the amazing powers of pets is their ability to attack the chronic morbid condition of a sedentary lifestyle with joy instead of grinding discipline.’ 

p.119 

…’companionship is another factor that increases your chances of sticking to an exercise plan. A long-term study of people who adopted dogs found that acquiring an animal sharply increased the amount of time they spent out of doors. This particularly effects the elderly, who definitely need stimulation to keep moving.’ 

And the dog park is even better than a MeetUp group! 

p.121 

‘This may help us to understand why pet owners are frequently reported to be healthier than non-owners…’ ‘Increased casual social contact can increase feelings of well-being and provide companionship.’ 

p. 164: ‘Seniors—Everyday Miracles From the Love of a Pet’ 

Indeed, I observed my parents with our two Labradors (in succession, both now passed), the enrichment in the quality of my parents’ lives. It’s that irreplaceable unconditional love…A puppy a day… 

p.167 

‘Seniors who have pets have far fewer doctor visits than those who don’t, according to a study’ (another study in the UK found) ‘that only one month after acquiring a dog or cat, seniors had 50% fewer medical problems..’ 

…keeps the doctor away. 

The mindful elderly: 

‘So many seniors believe that all the good things took place in the past. For many of them, the days flip by…their animal brings them into the present, into the moment.’ 

I ask you: Is there anything more soulful than a dog’s loving eyes? 

p.169 

‘You’re stroking that soft fur as you’re looking into those loving eyes…’ 

Man—and Woman’s Best Friend is Truly a Dog: 

p.172 

‘In a time of cumulative and unremitting loss, the pet is the one constant, they are an enormous source of solace and companionship.’ 

A sense of home…and true comfort… 

p.179 Animal-Assisted Therapy 

 Care homes for those with dementia are described this way:’ a trained therapy animal in most cases perfectly matches the level of stimulation the Alzheimer’s patient needs. It can also serve as a buffer in disputes between patients…’ (In one study of a veteran’s hospital: ‘…when residents started to argue, the dog would get between them, start to bark…They focused on the barking, and forgot what they were arguing about…’ 

p.181 

And finally… 

‘…the pet was a bridge from their homes to the world, a world that increasingly was rushing by faster and faster, leaving them farther and farther behind…’ 

Excerpts from Rudyard Kipling’s poem ‘The Power of the Dog’: 

‘There is sorrow enough in the natural way 

From men and women to fill our day; 

And when we are certain of sorrow in store, 

Why do we always arrange for more? 

Brothers and Sisters, I bid you beware 

Of giving your heart to a dog to tear. 

Buy a pup and your money will buy 

Love unflinching that cannot lie— 

Perfect passion and worship fed 

By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head. 

Nevertheless it is hardly fair 

To risk your heart for a dog to tear…’ 

For the full text of the poem see: 

https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/the-power-of-the-dog-by-rudyard-kipling