Preventing Senior Scams: Some Basic Advice from One Who’s Been There

By C.A. Bryson

Note to Readers: I’ve reached the point in my caregiving where bullet points are necessary. (‘The time has come…’ so to speak). My sincere apologies if this detracts from the overall reading experience.

Some Memories of Scams:

• In the 2010s my parents were hit with the Microsoft Scam. Do you remember that one? Someone phones from some random country and says your computer’s been infected by a virus and you must pay to clear the virus. We had to get their hard drive reformatted for that one.
• The other scam was when my parents tried to renew their passports online. Somehow, they got onto a bogus website and were charged and had their information stolen. Watch out for that one. Check carefully that the passport website is, in fact, genuine.

Other Scams (Senior Safety 2021):

• Grandparent scams: Someone reaches out to grandparents claiming to be a grandchild or family member in trouble/need of financial assistance. Basically, they just take it from there.
• Extortion: Money obtained from person, entity or institution through coercion.
• Seniors are being targeted by fraudsters impersonating real government officials
• Phishing: Scam emails or texts that trick you into handing over your personal and banking details.
• Other: You get an email asking you to help to transfer a large amount of money overseas. I think a lot of people have been hit by that one.
• Roofer Scams: A Questionable roofing company says they checked your parent’s roof and says it must be repaired. But they don’t do any actual work, and then charge you anyway. After all, how could they check? (Now of course, we have Airdrop on our phones. Our roofer used that function, when he did our roof last winter.)

Advice from the Royal Bank of Canada (RBC):

https://www.rbc.com/cyber-security/index.html

• Never use public WiFi to access your online banking as unscrupulous people can steal your banking info
• If you get an offer that sounds “too good to be true” by email or social media offering you a job or a lucrative business venture, do not give out your ID details or any financial info
• Create strong passwords—long, alpha-numeric combinations with symbols, and non-consecutive numbers. Do not use your birthday, spouse’s name or any family name, and do not use the same password for multiple accounts.

How to Block Calls on TELUS:

• How to block nuisance calls on your parent’s phone (I found this out from a Caregiver Support Group participant). Use the call control feature. It blocks system-generated phone calls (robot calls). The caller must press ‘9’ or won’t get through. Call TELUS customer service to set it up. (604-310-2255)

Warnings from Amazon:

(Email: May 11, 2022)

• Do not give out account information over the phone or give info to scammers who may use calls, texts, or emails to impersonate Amazon customer service.

Finally, here’s a useful phone number for CAFC (Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre): 1-888-495-8501

Hope you’ve found the above helpful. If you know of a scam that’s not mentioned, why not leave a comment to help our readers stay safe.

Next week’s post is on the issue of transportation, always a concern for seniors who no longer drive. Personally, I’ve dealt with this issue for years with some success. So, stay tuned…

Soon is the Alzheimer’s Walk coming up, I’ll be writing about that also. The issue has personal meaning for me, which I will write about too.

Staying Calm in a Hectic World

By C.A. Bryson

In the last few weeks, I wrote about sleep—sleep disorders, and what to do about it. This week, I’m writing about relaxation, because I think it’s important in this post-COVID period. We’re all a bit shaken, frankly, and we need to work on our own recovery, slow as it may be. In this post you will read some recommendations for how to stay calm that you can try at your leisure. If you like this post, leave a comment, and I’ll post more like it. Otherwise, the next few weeks will be devoted to Will preparation, Advance Care Planning, and Representation Agreements, as I think we need to prepare ourselves for our futures as we face the inevitable, difficult though it is to face.

What follows, first of all, is a relaxation exercise called ‘Release the Day’, to be done just before bed. You can try it tonight if you like. It’s very simple—you just have to follow the steps.

Paul McKenna, ‘I Can Make You Sleep’, Sterling, 2009, ‘Release the Day’ (p.128)

Read the exercise through carefully before you do it:

1. In your mind, visualize what you were doing just before you went to bed.
2. Visualize what you were doing just before that—who was with you, what was happening.
3. Go back through the day, one event at a time, in full colour and remembering all you heard and said.
4. For each event your will have a memory that is compressed—it won’t take as long to remember as it took to do it. But there will be a sequence and all the key emotions will come back to you.
5. Go back through each event until you end up when you woke up this morning.
6. Now you know what happened, what you felt, and what you expected and your mind can put them all together.

I include the next exercise because I know some caregiving folks can get awfully strong feelings at times, and this exercise helps you deal with them in a way that’s positive and supportive. I particularly find this exercise helpful during my anxious moments, and I wonder if you will too.

Paul McKenna ‘I Can Make You Sleep’, Sterling, 2009, ‘Letting the Feeling Unfold’ (p. 117)

Read this exercise through carefully before you do it.

1. Let yourself feel the emotion. Don’t reset to it, or act on it or resist it or reject it. Just let yourself experience it.
2. Now notice if there is any tension in your body related to that feeling and try to examine it.  Whereabouts in your body do you feel it? What is it like? Try to describe it to yourself.
3. Next ask yourself, “Why do I feel like this?”
4. Whatever the answer, next ask yourself, “Why does this matter to me?”
5. Again, whatever the answer, ask again, “Why does that answer matter to me?”
6. Keep asking this over and over again, until the answer is something positive that you want or care about. This is the positive value that your emotions are telling you about. You will know that you have arrived at the right place when:

• It is a positive feeling—something you wish for, not something you reject.
• It is personal—it is about your values, not about what anyone else thinks, does, or feels.
• The original feeling is noticeably reduced or changed.

• Pay attention to this positive, personal feeling and you will know that your original feeling has been transformed into something positive and motivating.

Lastly, I include my personal Top 5 Favourite Calming Activities, based on an article I read in Prevention magazine (Issue 2022: Dealing with Depression: Feel Happy Calm and Connected in Our Changing World (pp. 37-45), ‘Easy Ways to Take Care of Yourself’):

This is a follow-up (of sorts) on a previous post I wrote on Fun Things to Do. These are inexpensive, easy-to-do activities that are calming and feel good at a time when we all need to chill out because we’ve been through so much in the last few years of the COVID-19 pandemic. I’ll be writing more about the issue of the pandemic and its impact on our mental health in an upcoming Grapevine article, but in the meantime, here’s something to whet your appetite.

My Personal Top 5 Calming Activities:

1. Knitting (or crocheting). A large British study did research that found the repetitive action of clicking needles can be meditative and calming. Further, a Canadian study that looked at women with anxiety who also had eating disorders found that knitting made most of them less preoccupied and anxious.
2. Give yourself a massage: if there is no one else willing or able to work out the tension in your muscles, you can do it yourself. Some good spots you can reach yourself are the muscles of your shoulders, the hinge of your jaw, and pressure points on your hands.
3. Do Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR): Research has found that PMR helps reduce anxiety and calm breathing. Lie down and relax; then tighten, hold, and release each muscle in your body one at a time, beginning with your toes and moving to the crown of your head. Do it slowly and methodically, and don’t forget the muscles of your face. It only takes a few minutes from start to finish and it can help you sleep.
4. Donate your time: ‘Volunteering gives people purpose, which raises their self-esteem and lowers loneliness.’ According to research, people with social anxiety who lent a hand felt less anxious about social situations than those who didn’t. According to Canada Helps, donations to charity were down 10% during COVID. If you don’t have time to lend a helping hand, consider making a small donation to your favourite charity. For example, on May 29 is the Alzheimer’s Society of BC Alzheimer Walk.
5. Watch Nostalgic TV: Nurture your Inner Child and watch re-runs of Mr. Bean (hilarious!) or Seinfeld or The Simpsons. Even Fantasy Island (remember that show from the ‘70s?) is making a come-back these days.

I hope you enjoyed this post. Stay tuned for more post-COVID-19 survival tips. And enjoy your day. Next week’s post is on scams, specifically, how to prevent getting scammed.

(Note on the Image: My dad celebrated his 90^th birthday this week, and this was one of the birthday cards he got. It was a big milestone for my dad, or indeed, in anyone’s life. Would that I could be even half as fit and healthy as he is when (if) I get to 90!)

Sleep, Part 2 – How to Get a Good Night’s Sleep: Release the Day

By C.A. Bryson 2022

In Part 1 of ‘Sleep’, I introduced the concept of disordered sleep. In Part 2, we treat the problem. Part 2 is the Rx.

But first of all: Just why is sleep so important? Sleep is important because it serves to integrate new memories with existing knowledge and restore brain chemistry to good balance. Caregivers with poor sleep:

‘Have reported greater burden, increased depression, and poorer cognitive function. Caregivers with poor sleep are also more likely to place persons with dementia into residential care communities.’

‘In Search of Quality Sleep’ by Glenna Glasgow Brewster (March 31, 2022)

https://generations.asaging.org/search-quality-sleep

I’m all for doing whatever you can (that’s legal, and doesn’t harm your body or anyone else), to get a night’s rest. Personally, I’ve tried CBT-i (CBT for Insomnia), and Yoga Nidra, and have met with some success. The number one thing I learned from CBT-i was not to worry if I couldn’t get to sleep. But it seems to me the secret is in the title to this post: and that is, release the day. Truly and completely.

Paul McKinna, author of ‘I Can Make You Sleep’ (Sterling, 2009, p. 107), has this to say about ‘What to do when your head is filled with thoughts’:

‘Quite often our lives get filled up with relatively unimportant things and it is difficult to find enough time for ourselves. The only time you get to think things over is right at the very end of the day when you have some time to yourself, in bed, in the dark and quiet, so the unconscious seizes the moment just before you get to sleep to get you to think about what really matters to you. This is actually a very good thing—it is just not the most convenient time to do it.’

Notes from ‘How to Unwind’ by Akanksha Singh (Real Simple magazine, 2022, pp. 84-87):

• The basic idea is, at bedtime, switch from ‘doing’ mode to ‘being’ mode. Do the things you love to do and stop thinking you have to be “productive”
• No doom-scrolling!
• Screen time before bed is ok, IF and only if, you get enough daylight time outside to help your brain see the difference between night and day and keep your circadian rhythms on track. Note: what are circadian rhythms? Google says: ‘physical, mental, and behavioural changes that follow a 24-hour cycle. These processes respond primarily to light and dark.’ Also, by screen time, I mean light-hearted screen time: reading texts from friends, playing a game of online solitaire, that sort of thing.
• A hot shower or bath before bed helps you fall asleep faster. Sometimes baths are recommended over showers—an hour and a half before bed is optimal.
• Soothing mellow music and soft, warm lighting help.
• Writing down everything that’s on your mind is an effective way of releasing anger, fear and shame.
• Try progressive muscle relaxation: tense and relax your muscles, starting at your forehead, and working down to your toes.
• Try mindfulness meditation. Insight Timer is a free app. Headspace is also good but it is by subscription.
• Try Yoga Nidra. You can find a free meditation at the following website: (Note: you have to subscribe but it’s free.)

https://www.doyogawithme.com

• Try CBT-i (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia). There are online courses you can take.

One More Thing For You To Try…

Sleep-Inducing Foods. (From: ‘Feed Your Sleep’, Real Simple magazine, 2022, pp. 48-50)

Here are 5 of the Foods they recommend:

1. Yogurt: Keeps your gut healthy. A well-balanced gut influences serotonin levels, which in turn facilitate sleep.
2. Cereal: In particular, oatmeal made from whole or steel-cut oats, contains a neurotransmitter called GABA, which has a relaxing effect.
3. Bananas: These contain magnesium and potassium, both of which are sleep-promoting nutrients.
4. Cherries: Especially tart cherries, which are a good source of sleep-inducing melatonin. Drink 8 ounces tart cherry juice in the morning and again at night, and you may increase your sleep by an hour, studies show. (My caregiver coach will vouch for this.)
5. Nuts: Particularly cashews, almonds, and walnuts. These are sources of tryptophan (long known to be associated with sleep), they are also high in fibre, and high-fibre foods (like nuts) are in general beneficial for sleep.

In conclusion, I really do believe that, as William Shakespeare wrote in Macbeth: ‘sleep that knits up the raveled sleeve of care’ is what heals us.

What did the playwright mean? He meant, by ‘knit up’, that sleep is what soothes our daytime worries, so vital for a caregiver’s self-care and morale. So sweet dreams tonight, I hope. Next week: I introduce a sleep meditation called ‘Release the Day’.

A Note on the Images:

1. A Sleep Sound Therapy System, gifted to me by my brother. I highly recommend it if you have sleep issues, or if, for example, late night quiet makes you feel anxious. You can relax to the sound of a crackling fireplace, a train, or ocean waves (as well as other sounds.)
2. Mother’s Day Tea Roses (in honour of my late mother), for Mother’s Day 2022. Heads up: Father’s Day comes up next month on June 9.

CAB 2022

Ensuring Proper Sleep Part I: Introduction

By C.A. Bryson 2022

I.

Here’s a longish quote from one of my favourite sleep books: ‘I Can Make You Sleep’ by Paul McKenna (Sterling, 2009) (p. 30)

…’Pushing a child on a swing is a gentle process. All we need to do is give the child a little push at the right time, just as they are beginning to swing down again. But think of what happens if you get your timing wrong. If you leave it too late, the child is accelerating away from you and you almost have to run after them to push at all—and you have hardly any effect. Or if you try to start pushing too soon, you feel the weight of the child against you and the child comes to a sudden halt. Even the simplest swing can get out of time, and it can look quite complicated if your attempt to correct adds another twist or spin.

That is all that has happened when your sleep cycle is disrupted—the rhythm of the swing has gotten out of synch.’

‘S’ stands for ‘Senior’, but also for ‘Snore’, ‘Slumber’, ‘Snooze’, and ‘Sound’ (as in a ‘sound’ sleeper.) And yes, ‘S’ stands for ‘sleep’, ah… sleep: ever elusive, ever confounding and confabulating, ever confusing at times, sleep.

Tell me, what would you give, in terms of dollars, for that almighty Good Night’s Sleep? ‘The global market for sleep aids and technologies is estimated at 518 billion$ in 2022 and 585 billion$ in 2024.

https://statista.com/statistics/1119471/size-of-the-sleep-economy-worldwide

That’s a lot of shekels (another ‘S’!) just to catch some zzz’s!!

But sleep is serious business. Seriously. Why? Here are some sleep statistics for you (that might put you to sleep, or cause you to lose sleep, depending!)

• Canadians aged 18 to 64 sleep around 7.12 hours on average. Around one-third of Canadians sleep less than 6 hours a night.
• If your age is younger than 65, getting between 7-9 hours sleep is good—for seniors, 7-8 hours is the norm

• Caregivers (that’s us!) ‘lost 2.42-3.50 hours sleep each week due to difficulty falling asleep and maintaining sleep, a significant difference relative to age-matched non-caregiver controls’

https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2748661#/

‘Sleep Duration or Sleep Quality in Caregivers of Patients with Dementia’ Charles Gao, Nikita Y. Chapagain, Michel K. Scullin.

JAMA Netw Open 2019 2(8)

II.

Notes from ‘Out of Order: What You Need to Know About the Most Common Sleep Disorders, Snoring, Insomnia, Apnea and More.’ By Rick Sando ‘Real Simple’ magazine (2022) pp. 25-29.

From the Old Testament:

‘When shall I arise? But the night is long, and I am full of tossings to and fro unto the dawning of the day.’

In these notes I now cover basic information on insomnia and sleep apnea:

• The authors recommend you see a sleep specialist if you have difficulty falling or staying asleep, as your regular doctor may not have specialized knowledge on sleep disorders
• Note that ‘sleep deprivation’ means ‘not making or having enough time for proper rest’, rather than just being deprived of sleep per se
• Insomnia is defined as: ‘a mood so consumed by stress that it prevents the person from falling or staying asleep and causes early awakening’
• Matthew Walker, author of: ‘Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams’, writes:’ little wonder that sleep becomes nearly impossible to initiate or maintain when the spinning cogs of our emotional minds start churning, anxiously worrying.’
• If you can’t sleep and 20 minutes has gone by, get up and do something quiet and restful for a while and then go back to bed and try again. (More tips in Part 2 of this post.)
• What is sleep apnea? Sleep apnea is when your airways become obstructed and your body’s oxygen supply is limited, which can result in disrupted sleep.

See:

Canadian Sleep Society

https://ccs-scs.ca

In Part 2 of this post, stay tuned for tips on:

• How to unwind
• Feeding your sleep
• What is: Cbt-I and i-rest?

Note: Upcoming Senior’s Fair at North Vancouver City Library

Tuesday, May 10, 2022 10:00-11:30 AM (Registration required)

Presenters:

• Silver Harbour
• NSCR-Better at Home
• North Shore Neighbourhood House
• Capilano Community Services

Next Week: Sleep, Part Two: Ensuring Proper Sleep: How to Sleep Well Every Night

CAB 2022