Virtues Reflections: Compassion

by VG

A counsellor I know told me about an app for my phone that I have found extremely helpful in reminding me about many of the virtues we, as human beings, can be grateful for. In fact, it’s called ‘Virtues Reflections’.

It’s set up as a deck of cards where each card refers to an individual virtue. One side of the ‘card’ offers a paragraph on the specific virtue (ie: Kindness, Forgiveness, Hope); then you click the circular arrows at the bottom & it flips the ‘card’ and gives you a quote around that virtue as well as a few lines on practicing it. Lastly, it reminds you about why you can be thankful for this virtue. It only takes a minute or two to read and reflect on each one, and I have found that even one a day can be restorative when I need a reminder.

Over the next while, I will share some of these and my hope is you’ll take that minute or two to read them and take them to heart as well. I believe, for caregivers, those in bereavement, and people supporting friends or loved ones through traumatic experiences, these are like a brief meditation on positivity and they shine a light on the beauty of the human condition. For example, my previous blog post was on Empathy.

https://www.virtuesproject.com/store/virtues-reflection-cards

Today’s Virtue: Compassion:

“Compassion is deep empathy for another who is suffering or living with misfortune. It is understanding and caring, and a strong desire to ease their distress. Compassion flows freely from our hearts when we let go of judgements and seek to understand. Our compassionate presence helps people to know they are not alone. Sometimes they don’t need us to fix anything. They only need to be heard with compassion, so that they can connect to their own inner wisdom. We need our own compassion as much as others do. Whether a silent prayer or a gentle touch, compassion is a priceless gift”

On the back of the ‘Compassion card’, there’s a quote:

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion”

– The Dalai Lama

The Practice of Compassion:

I notice when someone is hurt or needs a friend.

I feel empathy for the pain of others.

I take time to reach out to those who need help.

I care for others by listening deeply.

I refrain from judging.

I have compassion for myself.

… and lastly: I am thankful for the gift of Compassion. It stirs my heart.

Take care of yourselves. Catherine should be back next week with Advance Care Plans – Part 2,

Vic G. ’22

The Advance Care Plan Part I (of 3) Introduction

By C.A. Bryson

This introduction to the Advance Care Plan provides you free online resources you can use to prepare your Advance Care Plan, step by step. Each week I will guide you through the steps. Part II will cover Steps 1-3 and Part III will cover Steps 4 and 5 and the Advance Directive. This is also something I’m journeying through myself, so we will do it together.

First, here are some resources to get you started:

Advance Care Planning Canada

My Speak Up Plan

Go to this website for online interactive workbooks in fillable or printable PDF. These workbooks guide you through the 5 steps of Advance Care Planning. Make your plan online, then download and share with others.

BC Centre for Palliative Care

Advance Care Planning (ACP) Resources:

Advance Care Planning Resources

Notes from BC Centre for Palliative Care website:

• Advance Care Planning is about making decisions about care
• It’s when you don’t want to think about getting seriously ill
• It’s about your wishes for future health care
• What medications/treatments
• You say what care you want
• Gives peace of mind to your family
• Advance Care Planning is for everyone
• Prepare for the unexpected
• Help your family as well as the care provider

Two videos to watch on the BC Centre for Palliative Care website:

1. Advance Care Planning is for everyone: This video is an introduction to Advance Care Planning. It is about 3 minutes long.
2. Think-Talk-Plan: This video introduces you to the think-talk-plan format, it is about 4 minutes long.

• Think: about what matters most, your spiritual/healthcare values, who will be your Temporary Substitute Decision Maker (TSDM)
• Talk: Talk to family and healthcare providers, pick a relaxing time and comfortable place. Talk about the present, then the future.
• Plan: On paper/phone/computer. Record your values/beliefs/wishes.

Name your Temporary Substitute Decision Maker. Store your document on the fridge. Review your plan from time to time, when there are changes in life or health.

Both videos are on ACP website:

https://bc-cpc-.ca/acp

Next post:

My Wishes, My Care: Thinking it Through workbook. Steps 1-3.

The following notes came from the BC government website:

https://www2.gov.bc.ca/gov/content/family-social-supports/seniors/health-safety/advance-care-planning

Steps to Creating Your Advance Care Plan:

1. Download Advance Care Planning Guide
2. Have a family conversation about your beliefs, values, and wishes
3. Decide what health care treatments you will and will not accept and note them in the guide.
4. Collect contact info for Temporary Substitute Decision Maker (TSDM) if a health care decision is needed for you and note them in the guide.
5. Put your Advance Care Plan in a safe, accessible place

Your Advance Care Plan can also include:

• A Representative Agreement where you write your instructions and name someone to make your health and personal care decisions if you become incapable.
• An Advance Directive with your instructions for health care that are given to your health care provider, which they must follow directly when it speaks to the care you need at the time if you become incapable.
• An Enduring Power of Attorney where you appoint someone to make decisions about your financial affairs, business and property.

I hope this post has helped you get started on your journey. I know the tools I found on the above websites were enormously helpful in guiding me through the process which is quite complex. But it helps to think about it as a gift to your loved ones.

Thanks for accompanying me on my caregiving journey.

My best to you and your family,

CAB 2022

Cruise Journal Excerpt II: 2019 The ‘Star Princess’

By C.A. Bryson 2022

‘To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive, and the true success is to labour.”

Robert Louis Stevenson

There it is then, I entered upon this cruise with my parents in 2019 hopefully, as I knew travelling with two octogenarians is surely no easy task, and indeed, it wasn’t. But in a way, what could be a better holiday for an octogenarian than a kind of floating hotel, where it is impossible to get lost and all expenses are accounted for (except liquor)?

The following are some excerpts from a journal I kept during the cruise, knowing that later in life, I might want to look back and reexperience what I knew would be the last journey I ever took with my parents. And remembering that on our very first journey, to our new home in a village in the Dordogne, France, I was only 3 years old.

This was, to be exact, the ‘Star Princess’ of Princess Cruise Lines, a beautiful ship in the iconic ‘Love Boat’ of the 70s show of that name. You may recall the characters: the Captain; his daughter Vickie, the Cruise Director; Julie, Isaac, and Doc.

In the Sanctuary, there is a quiet peaceful area of the ship where there is piped-in music and you have to pay an entrance fee. This journal excerpt took place there.

‘All around me the endless sea, the limitless horizon, absence of land—the swaying waves, the gentle rocking of the ship, a sense of peace, timelessness, the great depths beneath us, containing creatures: sea creatures, teeming with life. A pause, a parenthesis, in our lives here on the Princess, time to sit and sip tea, stare at the sea, containing our anger and our sorrows, our hopes and dreams, containing everything…everywhere life abounds.’

And…

‘The ship gently rocks back and forth, and the waves are lapping up against the bow, almost silently. I wish I could stay here forever!’

‘I will carry the memory of the Sanctuary for months and years to come. It will become a ‘special place’ in my memory. A place to return to in my mind when I feel stressed or tired. I will remember the luxury of being served, the next time I need to clean mum’s bathroom! It’s comforting to sit back and let others take care of you for a change.’

When I returned to Vancouver, the cherry blossoms were in full bloom.

Total distance Round Trip Vancouver-San Francisco-L.A.-Vancouver: 2,591 nautical miles.

So went my trip: Anno Domini 2019

Mum passed away in 2020. May she rest in peace.

(A Note on the image: This photo appeared on p. 26, in the article ‘Great Accommodations’ in The World’s Most Amazing Cruises magazine, Centennial Travel, 2022.)