McMedia Milkshake for November 2022

by C.A. Bryson

I offer the following excerpts from recent newspaper articles I have read on being older and issues pertaining to the health of older adults (such as sleep). I’m calling it the ‘McMedia Milkshake’ just for fun, because when I was in my twenties, I designed bottles filled with tiny pieces from coloured magazines and I called these my ‘McMedia Milkshakes.’ I hope you like this post. If you’d like to see more McMedia Milkshakes just leave a comment and I will do my best to continue this feature.

From: The Globe and Mail, March 2022

UBC School of Journalism, Writing, and Media

Online reference:

https://globalreportingprogram.org/growing-older

I highly recommend reading this article. It is both essential and evocative.

There are two stories in the article that I would like to draw your attention to; in particular: the story of a South Korean woman who collects recyclables for a living, and the story of an elderly woman who had a very difficult and painful life journey and who now seeks to live out the rest of her days in her own home, rather than Assisted Living.

So first, the story of Yeong-Im Jung (Seoul, South Korea) who is called:

‘pyeji sugeo noin’ or ‘a senior who collects cardboard and other recyclable goods in exchange for small sums of cash.’ An estimated 2 million such people exist in South Korea today.

Nearly half of South Koreans over the age of 65 are living in poverty.

Ms. Jung’s 85-year-old husband has dementia, and much of Ms. Jung’s income is derived from this work (approximately 20-35 CAD per day) and goes towards his care. Despite South Korea being one of the world’s wealthiest countries, a country ‘historically revered for caring for their elderly; 69% of seniors over the age of 65 work in some form of temporary or informal employment’.

Senior’s Desire to Age at Home

Quita Longmore

Ladysmith, BC

Ms. Longmore has Macular Degeneration and is hearing impaired. She has experienced a lot of tragedy in her life. Ms. Longmore cherishes independence and believes her ‘mother’s independent spirit and father’s practicality (he taught her to change a fuse box and use a screwdriver), influence her adult life. She won the Governor General’s Caring Canadian Award.

But Ms. Longmore’s case is not unique. A 2020 poll commissioned by the Canadian Medical Association found that 85% of Canadians will do ‘everything they can’ to avoid going into long-term care, and a 2021 Angus Reid survey shows that 44% of Canadians ‘dread’ the thought of living in or placing a loved one into long-term care. In its 2021 budget, the federal government allocated $90 million to launch the ‘Age Well at Home’ initiative, which provides support for vulnerable seniors to age at home, by matching them with volunteers who help with daily living tasks.

Ms. Longmore’s son Darrell moved in to help his mother, finding a way to work remotely and live at home.

‘Three Sleep Pros Share Their Nightly Routines’

The Globe and Mail

By Truc Nguyen

Nov 4, 2022

https://theglobeandmail.com/life/article-three-sleep-pros-share-their-nightly-routines

1. Marc Timpano: Started the Insomnia Project podcast. His tip is to watch something low stakes on TV prior to going to bed such as ‘The Great British Baking Show’.
2. Talia Shapero, Sleep Therapist, suggests that you create a buffer zone between your waking activities and stressors of the day, and your nighttime. For half an hour to one hour, create a ‘consistent and relaxing routine that is preparing your mind and body for rest, and helping you calm down your nervous system.’

I hope you have found these Media Excerpts interesting and informative.

Take care,

CAB 2022

How to Carve Out More ‘Me’ Time: ‘The Sweetness of Doing Nothing’

By C.A. Bryson

Average Work Hours By Week Around the World

Average working hours in 2022 | Countries | Cities |Trends | Professions

Canada 37.5-40 hrs/week

U.S.A. 40 hours/week

Singapore 44 hours/week

France 35 hours/week

Consider the amount of time the average person spends at work in his or her lifetime. Consider 19^th century England and the 6-day work week during the Industrial Revolution. But as humans, we need play too. Including caregivers. Which is why I offer you this post on how to carve out more ‘me’ time.

21 ways to create more ‘me time’

Here are 5 quality activities to do with your ‘me’ time:

1. Write in your journal (It can help ‘order your thoughts, gain perspective and live a life of gratitude’)
2. Read a book.
3. Listen to music (‘slow, quiet, classical music or the sounds of nature to slow your heart rate’)
4. Go for a walk/run.
5. Drink coffee/tea (‘Psychologists at City University London discovered that the ritual of tea-making reduced stress’)

How to Carve Time for Yourself and Pursue Your Dreams

These words of wisdom come from marketing strategist and dreamer Prime Sarmiento (2022, Tiny Buddha)

Her recommendation: Give yourself a ‘free’ day in which to do whatever you enjoy doing—set aside one day as your ‘day off’.

Note: I find it impossible, as caregiver, to have an entirely free day. But I can have one day in which I find time to do the things I enjoy in greater depth, and with a greater sense of ease.

1. Review your daily schedule and sort it between essential and non-essential activities. Replace non-essential activities with ‘one small thing that will move you an inch closer to your dream’
2. Put blank space in your daily organizer. It’s not a crime to have free time! (me) Leave time for what the Italians call: ‘il dulce far niente’ (the sweetness of doing nothing).
3. Reduce your screen time—un-plug once a week. If this isn’t possible, reduce your online time by 1-2 hours a week.
4. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. ‘Some tasks are better left to someone else.’
5. (And I would add: try to get up half an hour earlier in order to free up some play time.)

Excerpt from 2022 journal:

‘At 3:30 pm I thought to text my sister and then I said no, take the time to paint. So, I gave myself the gift of time for an hour to do whatever: study my Ukrainian, journal, paint. And now I feel calmer. I think when I don’t have free time for my own interests, I get concerned. I think I am being deprived of my free time, which is something I value personally and something I think we should value as a society.’

In fact, as previously mentioned, we work harder and longer in North America than almost anywhere else. And ‘all work and no play’ as they say, ‘makes Jack a dull boy.’ Play is both a natural as well as an essential part of a healthy lifestyle, not only for children, but also for adults. Whatever constitutes ‘play’ for us, whether baking or gardening or model airplanes, we should nourish as well as cherish. Cherish and feel gratitude for our free time, indeed, all our freedoms as a culture, as a nation.

In closing, I would like to include my poem ‘A Salute to the Grandmothers’ recently published by the magazine ‘Generations Today’ of the American Society on Aging.

You can access the poem at:

https://generations.asaging.org/salute-grandmothers

Thanks

Next week’s post: Media Milkshake (stay tuned)

CAB 2022

‘The Happiness Trap’ by Russ Harris – Book Notes

By C.A. Bryson

Here are some book notes I took from:

‘The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living’ by Russ Harris (Trumpeter Books, 2007)

Overall book message:

Trying to find happiness can make you miserable.

The antidote to that is ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy)

1. The 6 Core Principles of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy:

(Which taken together will give you psychological flexibility (your ability to adapt and take effective action)

1. Diffusion: Relate to your thoughts in a new way so they have less impact
2. Acceptance: (or Expansion) Make room for your thoughts and feelings
3. Connect to Present Moment: What is happening right here, right now.
4. The Observing Self: Largely ignored by Western psychology-transform your relationship with difficult thoughts and feelings.
5. Values: Clarify and connect with your values-provides direction and motivation.
6. Committed Action: Effective action, guided by values.

• Founder of ACT: Steven Hayes (U.S.A.) Psychologist

Author: Russ Harris, physician, therapist, based in Australia – he writes very well.

• The book is available at:
• Amazon.ca Paperback: $8.78 Kindle: $19.99
• North Vancouver District Public Library (print version)
• North Vancouver City Library (ebook through Libby)
• Website:

The Happiness Trap

• Additional Notes on Diffusion Techniques :

Here are some techniques to try if you are having difficult thoughts/feelings:

1. Thank your mind. Say “Thanks, Mind.!” Then carry on with whatever you were doing.
2. Say to yourself: “I’m having the thought that…” or “I notice I’m having the thought that…” Takes all the drama out of your thought/feeling.
3. Set your thought to music, like the tune to ‘Happy Birthday’ or ‘Jingle Bells’ Again, takes seriousness out of thought.
4. Name the story: example: “Ah, yes. The “I can’t cope” story…” then go on doing whatever you were doing. Or, “Ah, yes. The “world is going to hell” story”…  -whatever themes your thoughts tend to take. Those two resonate with me; maybe you too?

I hope you have enjoyed these brief notes on such a tremendously helpful book. I have not forgotten my other post of finding more ‘Me’ time. I’ll be posting that next week. In the meantime, have fun with ACT. See if it works for you. It does for me but everyone is different, of course. I tried CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), and found it helpful, but I find ACT is even better, in a way, because as Russ Harris writes, you don’t have to argue with your thought, or try to convince yourself you are happy when you are not. Not to say that CBT isn’t effective, (because it is), but ACT is just another tool in your psychological toolbox. Best of luck to you.

Opening the Conversation on Elders: The ‘Sages of Aging’ PBS Show

by C.A. Bryson

‘Today is the oldest you’ve ever been, and the youngest you’ll ever be again.’

Eleanor Roosevelt

Recently, I watched the ‘Sages of Aging’ show on PBS. Hosted by Ken Dychtwald, AgeWave CEO, the show featured 12 of the most innovative and impassioned “sages” in the field of aging. The show focused on such areas as: longevity, health, medicine, law, equity, social services and government policy. The experts answered questions from the host on topics pertaining to aging.

If you are a PBS member, you can watch the show at:

https://pbs.org/show/sages-aging

If not, if you become a member of the American Society on Aging, you can watch it on their website.

https://www.asaging.org

It’s true that our population demographics are rapidly changing. The life expectancy for males in the U.S. is 79 years, up a significant amount since previous decades, and is expected to continue to rise in the coming years.

The conversation opened on the topic of longevity, an apt topic. One expert shared that aging is not ‘about older persons’, and that aging is a lifelong process. Another expert thought that the role for older adults is now the transmission of wisdom. And that as older adults, we have an obligation to do something with our time, and that society is wrong to ‘write off’ such a precious resource that represents our elders.

There was a concern among the speakers of the need to re-imagine retirement. What might that mean? Well, for instance, seeking fulfillment: taking care of your family, your neighbours, contributing by example. Apparently, in the U.S., only 24% of retirees volunteer. Retired persons are 80% more likely to volunteer their time if they did so during their work lives. Here’s the thing: retirement is meant to be a ramp—not a cliff. Seek an age relevant goal in order to feel you’ve left a legacy (more on legacy-building in subsequent posts.)

The contributors held a brief discussion on women and aging. One expert explained that we have only made progress in aging on the backs of women, who are more likely to be society’s caregivers than men. But she added that assuming women are going to be caregivers is socially constructed, and that in time, we can create a new reality.

What do you think: does aging represent an ascent or a descent? The contributors were mixed in their opinions: some shared that as the body ages conditions such as arthritis or aches and pains in general made life more challenging, whereas others felt that as elders, they had gained wisdom, were better listeners, and enjoyed greater creativity.

Almost all the experts agreed that the presence of ageism was a problem that needed to be addressed. They felt that as a society, we tend to de-value older adults, and see older people as ‘invisible’ or even ‘disposable’. They felt that we do not have much expectation of our elders, lamenting the cliché of the ‘senior moment’ phenomenon. Others complained that our elders became ‘prisoners of the health system’, and that ‘age apartheid’ happens far too often these days. One expert pointed out how important it is to ensure you have a close circle of family and friends (something I covered recently in my post on Carol Marak’s recent book on solo aging.)

Finally, there was a consensus among the participants that the term ‘senior’ is no longer appropriate, and that our more mature members of society should rather be referred to as ‘older adults’ or ‘elders’. Personally, I would agree.

In conclusion, I would say that the show was both interesting and informative, and that we need more shows like this in the media. Moreover, we need to continue the conversation on the crucial role of older adults in our ever-changing world.

In closing, I would like to share the following quote: ‘Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art.’ (Stanislaw Jerzy Lec). Wouldn’t you agree?

My next post will either be on how to find more ‘me’ time or the art of the lazy lunch. The December Grapevine article will feature a special ‘Holiday Survival Guide 2022’ (with a particular focus on those of us who have lost loved ones recently.)

Take care.

CAB 2022