By Catherine Bryson
Recently I read author (and anti-guru) Sarah Knight’s ‘Calm the F*ck Down: How to Control What You Can So You Can Stop Freaking Out and Get on With Your Life’ (2016). Ms. Knight also hosts the ‘No F*cks Given’ podcast. As it turns out, May is Mental Health Month, so my timing is good.
Note: I hope you will excuse my use of expletives. It is not my usual practice however, in this case, it is warranted because that is part of the thesis of the book I’m describing.
You can reach her website here:
My time is limited and so (I assume) is yours, so I’ll be brief. Besides, these days my attention span is not quite what it once was, though I still read ‘old school’ books.
What you will get from this post are some serious skills on how to manage what I call: ‘turbulence.’ Just like flying, sometimes life can get rather ‘bumpy’—g*d forbid that we should have to attempt a crash landing.
However, in spite of major 21st century angst, I find myself not infrequently studying the azure blue sky (and on grey days, the biblical-seeming clouds), as if for me it were a kind of Sistine Chapel.
And you can too.
Just recognize that:
- Sh*t happens
- In the event of what Ms. Knight calls a ‘sh*t storm’, don’t freak out too much and panic-text your friends (siblings etc.) because if you do that you’ll overdraw your f*ck budget account with your supporters (Ms. Knight’s terminology) and people will, inevitably, withdraw. It’s like the crying wolf story they told you when you were a kid.
- Prioritize your sh*t storms by urgency, from 5 being ‘most’, (i.e. imminent death); to 1 being ‘least’ (i.e. being served decaf instead of your usual cup of high-octane joe.)
- Examine your FFs (‘Freak Out Funds). What can you afford? Also, develop your RIOs (Realistic Ideal Outcomes), based on urgency, ergo triage like in ER
- Most importantly, worrying about things that you can’t control is a waste (remember the words of the ‘Serenity Prayer’?). It’s the stress that you can control that you need to focus on.
- One last thing: your level of angst in no way predicts probability to occur. This is called differentiation, the ability to think clearly in spite of difficult emotions. In modern life, it is a crucial skill.
I hope you have enjoyed our little tour through the shark-infested waters of anxiety, this little ‘3-hour tour’ à la ‘Gilligan’s Island’: “If not for the courage of the fearless crew, the Minnow would be lost, the Minnow would be lost…”. Sometimes life does feel like an episode of ‘Survivor’ or the book ‘Life of Pi’ by Yann Martel. Sometimes you do feel as though you were stranded on a life raft in the middle of the ocean.
Nonetheless, you don’t have to panic or replay worst-case-scenario videos, complete with a ‘Jaws’ movie soundtrack.
Note the following mantra:
I can deal with this sh*t.
I will deal with this sh*t.
Finally, I must pay respect and admiration to author Sarah Knight’s book for her contribution to understanding and coping with anxiety. Note that this post in no way is a substitute for professional help. If you suspect you or a loved one has clinical anxiety, get help as soon as possible, as it may be lifesaving.
Next week there’s a funny story for you involving, of all things ‘Cap’n Crunch’ cereal. It’s part of a new idea I have called the monthly ‘smile’ post.
So, don’t change that channel…
To Be Continued…
North Van Caregivers 